Monday, June 7, 2010

the zombie apocalypse is upon us

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Okay, okay. My kitchen is operational. (We still need to put in the hood.) Would you like to hear the mind-blowing, totally fantastic, OUTSTANDING meal we made as soon as everything was ready to go?

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It was spaghetti with classico sauce, y'all. And some roasted broccoli. WE HADN'T GONE GROCERY SHOPPING YET! JEEZ. Saturday, we paid some bills and then went shopping with a meal plan for the first time in a few months and it was AWESOMEEEE. Then we roasted a chicken.

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And hey, i don't want to toot my own horn but this was the best chicken I've ever roasted. I don't know if it's because the heat is more evenly distributed in my new fancy oven, or if it's just that it's been awhile, but it was so perfectly cooked, omg.

Uhhhh anything else? Sorry if this is really boring, I'm distracted by the sound of my kid and my 2 nephews tearing my basement to shreds. They seem to be having a good time, but HOLY CRAP, little kids make a lot of noise.

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Also, my garden is doing pretty well. I have lots of snap peas and even though I keep finding slugs all over everything, stuff seems to be growing. So, hooray for that.

Also I just had a conversation with my friend Josh about the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse and honestly y'all? This shit kind of bums me out. I can try to ignore things as much as I want (OIL SPILL OIL SPILL OIL SPILL OIL SPILL OIL SPILL) but the reality is that I spend pretty much every day practically vibrating with anxiety and consumer guilt. I have to spend a huge portion of my time shoving thoughts out of my head because I am so freaked out by life in general. Like WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT OF BEING ALIVE WHEN HUMAN BEINGS DO SO MUCH FUCKED UP SHIT?! WHY DID I HAVE A KID IF HE IS JUST GOING TO GET EATEN ALIVE BY ZOMBIES ON MY 29TH BIRTHDAY (my 29th birthday will be 12/21/2012, fyi)?!?! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE! I AM A BAD PERSON BECAUSE I HAVE A DISHWASHER AND ALL THOSE LITTLE GIRLS IN "BORN INTO BROTHELS" HAVE TO SCRUB THEIR PANS WITH FILTHY OLD WATER!

I could go on, but I won't. The truth is I don't have a clue what to do with this type of energy. I grow shit in my yard, I teach my son to be a good person, I cook all my meals at home in an attempt to be healthy, but I wrestle with feelings of "WHAT'S THE POINT" pretty much all day, every day. I just keep making shit- art, food, friends- and hope that things turn out okay. Even complaining about these bad feelings makes me feel like a dick, knowing that somewhere else, like some Guatemalan kid is like, "ORLY, ALICE? YOU'RE STRESSED OUT BECAUSE YOU FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HAVING A NEW DISHWASHER? WELL THERE IS A SINKHOLE THAT LITERALLY REACHES THE PITS OF HELL IN MY BACKYARD, SO STOP WHINING. I get it, I know that I am like the epitome of White Kids With Problems. Poor me, I have college debt but I own a house in a beautiful city where most people have the same political ideals as I do. Hard knock life, y'all!

I don't know where I was going with this. Just know that I am incredibly thankful for what I have.



29 comments:

Kimberly said...

I know exactly - EXACTLY what the fuck. I will be maniac to the point of certified crazy about recycling and then eat McDonald's and knowing all the reasons why that sucks makes me go mad. One example of many. Mind always swirling...too much knowledge.

Anna said...

If it makes you feel any better, I live in Melbourne, Australia, and I feel exactly the same way. Every day I drive myself absolutely insane with the same kinds of 'what's the point? questions.

The only answer I can come up with is the the point is to make and eat food, make and see art, and hang out with your family and friends.

Everything else about the world is pretty messed up so I just do my best to ignore it whilst making as much deliciousness in the kitchen as possible... good luck :-)

Alicia Lynn Carrier said...

kimberly- don't eat mcdonald's! haha, problem solved.

Renai said...

This is going to make me sound like a creeper because I never comment on your blog- but DAMN this post makes me want to give you a huge giant hug. Mostly because you made me laugh and then made me feel okay for being a whiny privileged white kid who worries about nonsense 24/7. It cannot be stopped!

Knitopia said...

Yeah, I went to Winco tonight for the first time in more than a year. It's late, so the stockers were out in force, and I had to dodge pallets and pallets of absolute crap. It made me depressed for the world.

Tammy said...

Love the kitchen - congrats! My boys talk so much about zombie apocalypse that I find myself scouting out safe houses when I drive here in VT.

Dani said...

man, i feel the same way ALL the time.

Monika said...

Gosh, I don't even know you and I've been so excited for your kitchen! It looks lovely!

I think your last photo said a million things; your gratitude for what you've got in life is awesome because it's hard to see it sometimes.

And the fact that you're willing to make yourself uncomfortable by asking yourself the tough, ugly questions with no answers means you're invested in the betterment of the world.

I don't know many folks who haven't given up already.

CHC said...

I hear copper wire around plants will discourage slugs from entering the domain of plants. I have no idea if that works, but doesn't hurt, I suppose. We don't have many instances of slug invasion here in the southwest. Your kitchen looks great.

keakin said...

Your kitchen is just beautiful, and yes be thankful and yes enjoy it. I think we need to change the things we can and accept the things we can't, and try to make the world better, even in the smallest ways, we can make a difference.

survivingmassachusetts said...

Meh- we can only do what we can do. We're only responsible for our own actions, so I try really hard not to feel guilty about everyone else doing stupid, selfish shit. When we have the zombie apocolypse at least I know how to grow my own food. Sure I'll just get mowed down by a tea bagger with an assault rifle who will steal my grain, but what can ya do? Sit around and worry about sinkholes (BECAUSE NOW I TOTALLY DO THAT)?

huebscher said...

::snort:: you are one funny bitch.
every time I drive past the mile-long linear particle accelerator of plastic crap that is the walmart regional distribution center, I feel like carbombing it ... but I don't. I go home, tend my garden, and thank god my town is so rich with alternatives.

Milos Sajin said...

your post made me giggle Alicia. I'm impressed that you have time to worry about zombies and the end of the world, when you have a kid, bills to pay and slugs to eliminate :) It's nice to think that there are people out there that worry about that stuff, perhaps if everyone worried a little bit, things will turn out ok. I have to agree with Anna though, I do think the point is to make the best of what you have, be thankful, and give back a little bit to the community that helped you get where you are. (that being the world in general) :) P.s. dont worry too much, and cook more!

juliamarisa said...

alicia, i'm so in love with your kitchen! nice choices in color palatte and furnishings.

Elizabeth said...

I am completely convinced that stupid people are much happier than us brainier types. They happily stumble through life unconcerned about the world's problems. So what do the rest of us do? Do more reading, gardening, cooking, what makes you happy and be content with your own positive contributions to your life and your world.

I am unaware of the zombie apocalypse deal. Maybe I will choose to remain ignorant of Josh's predictions, and therefore happier.

The kitchen looks great - congrats on being almost done!

Katie Z. said...

it makes me crazy to have so much in my life that I love and yet to know that in order for me to have them, I've helped to cause disasters like the one occuring in the gulf. it is so freaking hard to focus on the things that are really important like our families and our friends and simple food and beauty and enjoying our work. If it makes you feel any better, you give me inspiration to keep trying.

Jana said...

I love the new kitchen! The green is so cool. So glad to see you are back on board..because I've been missing your cooking posts!

beastmomma said...

Congrats on the kitchen! I wish you many good meals and moments in the kitchen which help you find and remember *the point*

Balancing ALL said...

Alice, I think your point is that you make me L my A O!! (Love your new kitchen, btw. Jealous!) I worry about how happy the cows and chickens are, and would be a vegetarian if it weren't for Skyline Chili here in Cincinnati. HA! But really, I think it's all a game called "Earth". Play the game to the hilt. Be nice to people. Worship the temple (your body), have fun, and learn stuff. Love your blog. Found it wanting a new beet recipe, and you delivered w/ hippie chow. Thanks, Babe! Peace out!

belfountain said...

nice new kitchens aside (and it does look fantastic, by the way) I think about - and worry about - that zombie apocalypse stuff every day. EVERY day. And I get the whole White Kids With Problems thing - I'm probably guilty of that too - but just because the effed up things humans do and the ensuing likelihood of entire civilizations crashing and burning is the one of the only looming social issues you or I find personally affecting doesn't make it an unworthy thing to worry about... I'm still trying to strike a personal balance between trying to do everything I can to not contribute to the systems that got us this far in the first place, and making peace with the fact that some really effed up stuff might happen within my lifetime and realistically I may not be able to do anything to change that...

Chris said...

I think it's okay. If you worry it's because you have a soul. And that's good. Cut yourself some slack and just enjoy the new dishwasher. All the consumer guilt is brainwashing. Don't buy in to it. You're using your super powers for good!

Lotus Moma said...

Alicia I love your kitchen and your blog. And I hear you on "whats the point" but that mentality wont help you and it just brings you down. I know this first hand. I was in a slump my self but was ripped out of it when my nephew was born. I have two kids and like you have a garden, cook 99% of our meals, sew and am teaching them to be mindful creative kick ass human beings. But when my nephew was born with cancer and in his 5 weeks of life has had three days of chemo and 3 surgeries and is still fighting to be here it changed my life and view on just about everything. I stopped bitching. And am being proactive about things.
wow that was long and not where I was going with my comment. But here ya go.

Captain and Crew said...

Hilarious! i love it! Keep writing and I'll keep reading!

Katy's Eats said...

Very nice recipe !

Karen said...

i'll be damned if i don't feel exactly. this. way. every day of my life. word.

cindy* said...

first world problems, i get that...bitch about them all the time before i get consumed by guilt.


also...the zombie-pocolypse may begin in the kitchen. have you seen this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ta40tXMEE4U it's great.

elliemoon said...

i'm jealous of your kitchen and your chicken is making me hungry.....any tips in that department? it looks like you used a nice rub?

ditto on the world thoughts. i feel the same way, but when i really can't take it, i tell myself that its all a bunch of bs that they cook up to get us to vote/think a certain way! (aside from that oil spill.....thats pretty real). ugh.

Ben said...

Am a bit late to the comments sections, but, at any rate...

Have struggled with just those thoughts for years and the conclusions to which I've come is that I can't solve all the problems with all the world as I'll get overwhelmed and stymied. I just start. I start with what's in front of me. "Bloom where you're planted." And I do what I can and don't stress over the rest, and thats all I can do.

P.S. All those girls in "Born into Brothels" would jump at the chance to have a kitchen like yours, nobody would turn it down...so ENJOY what you have, you would dishonor them not to do so. Be mindful and keep on truckin'.

OrganicMama said...

Hey - I've heard that planting little cups of beer will help with slugs. They're supposed to fall into them and drown or something. I suppose the sugar attracts them... Wonder if that works?