Sunday, April 18, 2010

catch-up jumble.

Here is a photo of a 3 year old girl kissing a chicken:



Anyway, somehow I manage to keep myself really busy, which I appreciate- being the youngest of 4 kids I crave constant stimulation and attention and I get bored really easily. Maybe a little ADD mixed in with my OCD, who knows? This is part of the reason, I think- that being a stay at home mom has never agreed with me much. WHAT? SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET ADMITTED THAT BEING A STAY AT HOME MOM SUCKS DOG BALLS? Whatever, dudes. Babies are BORING. I'd rip out my fingernails with pliers for my kid, but if you want to pretend like staring at the same 4 walls all day while a small person screams at you while crapping their pants is the best thing that ever happened to you, be my guest. Now that he's older and more independent, things are going really well for all of us, I think.

So anyway, I'm working a lot more now, and art things are keeping me busy too.

My good friends over at Darling Press & Stationers just bought their very own printing press!


It is a beautiful old machine (the patent stamp is from 1899!) and it's almost ready to run. I'm so excited for them! Click through to their blog to see some more photos I took of it and to read the story of how they got it. I'm hoping that someday soon they'll teach me to use it and I can offer prints instead of just original drawings over at my drawing blog.

OH BUT WAIT, THIS IS MY FOOD BLOG, not my complain-about-motherhood-and-ramble-about-my-art-projects-blog.


Look at that! The same buddies who got the printing press also got one of these bad ass water storage tanks. They are officially apocalypse-ready, what with their old-timey machinery and clean water receptacles. This is a 330 gallon rain water storage tank, and I really really want one. I'm meeting with the guy who hooked them up with this tank tomorrow to discuss some business- he runs an urban farm near my neighborhood, and I am going to take some photographs for him, and maybe draw a logo, and then maybe help him get a blog going so he can get the word out for his farm and CSA projects. And then I don't have to have a skyrocketing water bill this summer to water my garden.

Also, I was just reading Angerburger, a food blog that is funnier than mine, and she had a goofy list of some previous jobs.

Because I am bored, and as previously mentioned, attention-seeking, here is my list of funny/dorky/lame jobs:

1. Farm Worker, age 13. This lasted for a month or two, the summer before the 9th grade. I had to pick green onions and radishes, and I hated every second of it. I wish I could point to this job and pretend like it gave me some much-needed structure, or that it taught me how to work hard, or whatever- but really I was a total asshole the whole time I worked there, I complained the whole time, and I treated it like an extended study hall, goofing off and wasting time. Spoiled rotten white kids for the win, I guess. In hindsight, though- I'm glad I have even a tiny bit of experience with the way farms work. '

2. Burger Joint Waitress, age 15. There is a diner in Oregon City (where I grew up) which employs almost exclusively high school kids and the few stragglers who uh, still work there. I started working there after dropping out of high school, and sometimes kids I'd previously been going to class with would pop in around lunch time and give me a hard time. My boss was kind of crazy, but she's since passed away from cancer and I can't bring myself to make fun of her on the internet. There was a cook who worked there that I loved, and he passed away a few years ago, the only funeral I've ever been to. This job was definitely a pretty formative experience in the food service industry for me, and it was one of those on again, off again jobs that I'd go back to when I couldn't find work anywhere else.

3. Summer Camp Cafeteria Lady, age 16. This was a quick job, only a few weeks at the end of a summer when one of the staff cooks bailed on short notice and they needed someone, and my sister happened to work there as a nature guide already. Have you ever seen Wet Hot American Summer? It was actually kind of like that. I fried 400 burgers in a row for an outdoor picnic, and ruined my favorite tank top with burger grease. I loved that job!

4. Discount Cigarette Store Employee, age 18: I had a couple of jobs between these 2, but they were boring. This one was hilarious. It was one of those shitty "Cigarettes, Cheaper!" stores in a strip mall in Oak Grove, a crappy Portland suburb. I worked 4 shifts a week, each 12 hours long. I had a coffee pot, I was allowed to smoke inside the store, and I spent the majority of my day sitting on my ass chainsmoking and reading Harry Potter books over and over. I'd pass the time doing stupid shit like hiding a whoopie cushion under my cash register and stepping on it when I went to pick things up, just to see if the customers would say anything.

Other than those jobs and a couple of other odd ones, I've been a barista at various cafes since I was 19 and it's something I alternately really enjoy and really hate (because people are so stupid, but whatever).


Hope y'all are having a good night.


Anneke said...

This post was a great way to start my day, thank you, it made me laugh. I am a mother of 2, but I admit, I could not be a stay at home mom, as crazy in love as I am for them. It would not be good for them, haha.

windycityvegan said...

I am so with you on the stay at home mom sucks dog balls admission. My husband is the stay at home parent in our family, and the best thing about it (aside from the obvious benefits of a happy child who isn't a vector of daycare germs) is that he has finally stopped bugging me about having another kid.

windycityvegan said...

I am so with you on the BEING A STAY AT HOME MOM SUCKS DOG BALLS admission. My husband is the stay at home parent in our family, and the best thing about it (aside from a happy kid who also is not a vector of daycare germs) is that he's finally stopped pestering me about having another kid.

suthrncan said...

I don't know if I'm more jealous of the press or the rain catcher!!!

Bossy Chef said...

I am with you on two counts. I want a water barrell, our local co-op has much smaller versions for about $100 which I am coveting. And I could never be a stay at home Mom. I love my children, but staying at home is not for me... never has been, and I try not to apologize for it.

Rhonda said...

I agree staying at home sucks balls. And i wish more people would at admit it. The girl kissing the chicken made me laugh cause my girl at 10 said that chickens were evil!

Ali said...

Political correctness sucks dog balls which is why your blog makes me laugh so hard!! Thanks for the pick-me-up and the brutal honesty!

Lotus Moma said...

I am a SAHM and its the hardest "job" I have ever had. And I once did credit card collections at 8am on saturday mornings. lol
Hey I am in Portland and how can I get my hands on the enormous rain catcher????

candice ross said...

ok - so i have been reading you rblog for a while now. and just fukcing thank you for being real about the "joys" of being a stay at home mom - not to mention parenthood. i do not have kids and dont really plan to but, all of my friends have very young kids and always act completely stupid about "how amazing" every thing is. give. me. a. break! just being a person is great too - parenting can't be the only thing in your life. anyways - thanks you rock.

capabilitymom said...

I laughed out loud at this:

"I'd rip out my fingernails with pliers for my kid, but if you want to pretend like staring at the same 4 walls all day while a small person screams at you while crapping their pants is the best thing that ever happened to you, be my guest."

What a perfectly wonderful sentence.

Alicia Lynn Carrier said...

HEY EVERYONE, IT'S A TATTOO OF A MOTH. NOT A DICK. it does kinda look like a dick, though.

fromthelibraryof said...

I loved the bit about 'babies are boring' so much I forwarded it to a friend. You said it.

I'm also totally interested in that rain storage water tank. I'd love to have one, but since I live in the swealtering valley it could be half that size and till take years to fill up.